Fear of Failure

I started this journey almost 7 months ago and up until a week or so ago, never really shared anything about it with more than a few people in my life.

Why? Mostly because of my fear of failure. I have attempted to "diet" NUMEROUS times since having kids. But each and every single time, I gave up. So why would this time be any different? Why share something with the people in my life that probably won't stick?

I realize now that going into something with the mindset of failing isn't smart. You are pretty much setting yourself up for failure. Instead of using the people in my life for support, I relied solely on the Weight Watchers Instagram community. For the first few weeks, I didn't even talk to Mark about it much. Luckily I quickly found a group of AMAZING women and they have honestly helped me more than I could have ever imagined. They were there even when I wasn't very open about it all with Mark.

Last weekend while out celebrating one of my best friend's 40th birthday, she mentioned that she had noticed that I had lost some weight. When I told her that I had just hit 25lbs lost that day, she was shocked. Sure I had casually mentioned that I was trying, but nothing ever completely serious. For the most part, this has been something that I've done alone, minus my #wwdropitlikeitshot group. And Mark, we can't forget him. 

That officially ends today. As of right now, quite literally actually, my Instagram account is no longer private. I don't intend to combine it with my private one, simply because I post so much WW related stuff on a daily basis, I don't want it to clog up feeds of those who follow my private account. No more hiding. No more keeping this to myself in fear that I will disappoint everyone when I fail. 6 months and 25lbs tells me that failing is no longer an option. The change in how I feel and how much more confident I am with myself, tells me I won't fail. Will I stumble? Sure. But that's what having people to support you is for. To help you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and come back even stronger than before.

Thanks to Gina for posting something about this on our FB page and giving me the motivation to get this off my chest!

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Bring on Month 7

See, I told you I couldn't make any promises about blogging on a regular basis.

Life for me is CRAZY right now! Football practice started on Monday, we have THREE football teams in our league plus a private school to complete orders for, our full time jobs, our home, and all of the other crazy stuff going on. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't all affecting me, but luckily I've still been able to see a loss on the scale, despite my ability to work out any in the last 2 weeks.

One BIG milestone I hit this past month was the 25lb mark. AND I'm only 3 lbs away from my 10% milestone, so that is my biggest goal for the month of August. I've also been getting in my steps on most days, thanks to my schedule keeping me going all the time, but I have GOT to up my workout game. I do not want to lose all of the muscle tone I've been working towards. I've talked my best friend into walking with me during football practice starting next week, so that should help tremendously. Then I can maybe get in some weights in the AM before work. Still not sure on how I'm going to do it all, I just know that I'm determined to do it.

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Month 6

Seems like I'm getting pretty good at this only checking in once a month thing....

Let's see if we can do better this month. Not making any promises though. Last month was good. I lost another 4 lbs, which is exactly a pound a week and that is perfectly fine with me. I still was able to eat a lot of crap I shouldn't, enjoy some holidays, go out a few times, and I'm feeling better and better about where I am and where I'm headed.

For the first few months, I struggled to REALLY see a big difference, but over the last few week's I've realized that I can tell a good bit of difference in my hips, my thighs, my arms, and even my face. I REALLY need to take measurements. I'm already beating myself up because I've now lost almost 25lbs and I know I've cheated myself out of a good way of seeing how far I've come. Oh well...you live and you learn, right?

The biggest victory for me is how much more confident and comfortable I've gotten with myself around Mark. I have found that I flirt with him a lot more than I used to....something I was the queen of back in the day. Boys didn't call me a tease for nothing. HAHA!

July starts Month 6 and I am so damn proud of myself for sticking with this. It has truly become a lifestyle for me and I'm confident now that I will succeed and not give up like I have in the past. I'm continuing to improve week by week and for the last two weeks, I've worked out at least 4 times a week. That is a huge victory for me.

Life is good....and it's only getting better.

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