Fear of Failure

I started this journey almost 7 months ago and up until a week or so ago, never really shared anything about it with more than a few people in my life.

Why? Mostly because of my fear of failure. I have attempted to "diet" NUMEROUS times since having kids. But each and every single time, I gave up. So why would this time be any different? Why share something with the people in my life that probably won't stick?

I realize now that going into something with the mindset of failing isn't smart. You are pretty much setting yourself up for failure. Instead of using the people in my life for support, I relied solely on the Weight Watchers Instagram community. For the first few weeks, I didn't even talk to Mark about it much. Luckily I quickly found a group of AMAZING women and they have honestly helped me more than I could have ever imagined. They were there even when I wasn't very open about it all with Mark.

Last weekend while out celebrating one of my best friend's 40th birthday, she mentioned that she had noticed that I had lost some weight. When I told her that I had just hit 25lbs lost that day, she was shocked. Sure I had casually mentioned that I was trying, but nothing ever completely serious. For the most part, this has been something that I've done alone, minus my #wwdropitlikeitshot group. And Mark, we can't forget him. 

That officially ends today. As of right now, quite literally actually, my Instagram account is no longer private. I don't intend to combine it with my private one, simply because I post so much WW related stuff on a daily basis, I don't want it to clog up feeds of those who follow my private account. No more hiding. No more keeping this to myself in fear that I will disappoint everyone when I fail. 6 months and 25lbs tells me that failing is no longer an option. The change in how I feel and how much more confident I am with myself, tells me I won't fail. Will I stumble? Sure. But that's what having people to support you is for. To help you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and come back even stronger than before.

Thanks to Gina for posting something about this on our FB page and giving me the motivation to get this off my chest!


 

Bring on Month 7

See, I told you I couldn't make any promises about blogging on a regular basis.

Life for me is CRAZY right now! Football practice started on Monday, we have THREE football teams in our league plus a private school to complete orders for, our full time jobs, our home, and all of the other crazy stuff going on. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't all affecting me, but luckily I've still been able to see a loss on the scale, despite my ability to work out any in the last 2 weeks.

One BIG milestone I hit this past month was the 25lb mark. AND I'm only 3 lbs away from my 10% milestone, so that is my biggest goal for the month of August. I've also been getting in my steps on most days, thanks to my schedule keeping me going all the time, but I have GOT to up my workout game. I do not want to lose all of the muscle tone I've been working towards. I've talked my best friend into walking with me during football practice starting next week, so that should help tremendously. Then I can maybe get in some weights in the AM before work. Still not sure on how I'm going to do it all, I just know that I'm determined to do it.

Month 6

Seems like I'm getting pretty good at this only checking in once a month thing....

Let's see if we can do better this month. Not making any promises though. Last month was good. I lost another 4 lbs, which is exactly a pound a week and that is perfectly fine with me. I still was able to eat a lot of crap I shouldn't, enjoy some holidays, go out a few times, and I'm feeling better and better about where I am and where I'm headed.

For the first few months, I struggled to REALLY see a big difference, but over the last few week's I've realized that I can tell a good bit of difference in my hips, my thighs, my arms, and even my face. I REALLY need to take measurements. I'm already beating myself up because I've now lost almost 25lbs and I know I've cheated myself out of a good way of seeing how far I've come. Oh well...you live and you learn, right?

The biggest victory for me is how much more confident and comfortable I've gotten with myself around Mark. I have found that I flirt with him a lot more than I used to....something I was the queen of back in the day. Boys didn't call me a tease for nothing. HAHA!

July starts Month 6 and I am so damn proud of myself for sticking with this. It has truly become a lifestyle for me and I'm confident now that I will succeed and not give up like I have in the past. I'm continuing to improve week by week and for the last two weeks, I've worked out at least 4 times a week. That is a huge victory for me.

Life is good....and it's only getting better.

A little update...

Well hello there strangers! Long time no chat.

The good news about this break vs the ones I used to take on my old blog, is that this time I wasn't hiding from my blog because I didn't want to admit failure. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I've just been so busy working on ME  and being a mom/wife/business owner that I haven't had as much time to blog as I would like.

Things have been going well. While I haven't lost an insane about of weight since my last post, I've changed drastically. The biggest thing is that the other night, while in the garage lifting weights, I realized that I had become that person. A person who loves to work out. I'm still not THAT fond of cardio, but I'm becoming a huge weight lover. Even typing that now, I have to chuckle because I NEVER thought in a MILLION years that I would ever become this person. Over the past 7 days I've worked out more than I ever have in a week. I'm .8 lbs away from my 20lb loss mark, I have totally kicked my soda addiction and can easily have one every blue moon and not crave them for days, I'm starting to notice that my clothes are starting to fit loose, I tried on a 14/16 top and it FIT...there are just so many great changes I'm noticing, but the biggest one is the way I FEEL. Even my self confidence has been boosted and that's a huge thing for me because I was a cocky bitch in High School and I kinda miss that girl.

Back to the working out. I've decided to challenge myself.

So many of my wonderful #wwsendtheloveteamslim girls get up in the morning and workout. After hearing Steph talk this morning about how missing her workout made her feel bad, I thought about it and thought to myself that maybe I should give it a go. I'm so not a morning person but maybe this will help. Not to mention I've been working out so late lately that I'm starting to notice that the endorphin high sometimes keeps me up longer than I would like. I'm not making any promises, but I would like to start off with trying to get up 2 mornings a week and workout. Maybe then I'll be nicer to my coworkers BEFORE my coffee kicks in.

We shall see......

 

Struggle Bus Party of One

I've been struggling lately.

I've been struggling with not wanting to eat an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting, with not going through that drive-thru window instead of having to go home and cook, with getting in my workouts...with it all.

Sure, my eating hasn't been horrible and I haven't really gained any weight.....but I'm also not losing like I would like to. I've lost 15lbs in 3 months, which isn't bad at all. I just have to keep telling myself that slow & steady wins the race and while some drop a lot at the beginning of their journey, my weight loss journey is my weight loss journey and no one elses. They say "Comparison is the thief of joy" and they are right. Comparing your life to someone elses....in any way...will get you no where. While some may lose it fast and keep it off, most of them gain it back. That is not what I want. I am changing my lifestyle. I am in this for the long haul. And like my buddy Cassie said yesterday, I just have to keep reminding myself of where I can (AND WILL) be next year. I have to be able to see the big picture while enjoying each step of the journey.

Since starting Weight Watchers on Feb. 1st, I've lost 15lbs. I've noticed a huge difference in the way my clothes fit, in the way my hips and butt look, with how I feel, with how I feel about myself....I've had to go up on my FitBit band twice, my wedding ring continues to get more and more loose, and most importantly....I haven't quit. Not once have I given up and that has NEVER happened for me. I've always been gung ho about something for a few weeks and then went back to my old ways.

This time is different. This time I will succeed.

 

Making Yourself Happy

After my workout and shower last night, I curled up in bed to watch a little tv and unwind. I hit my DVR button, turned on yesterday's recorded Steve Harvey Show, and I am so glad I did.

One of his guests was Bishop T.D. Jakes and he was there talking about his 5 Steps to Being Happy. Usually crap like that is a no-go for me. I will turn the tv faster than you can blink. BUT....not last night. Last night I was listening intently and even went back to record it with my phone so I could share some of it with you today. For some reason, the things he had to say really hit home for me.

The first step that really got me was CHALLENGE YOUR OWN STORY.He talked about how we tend to torment ourselves with how WE see our lives....how we narrate our own story with our version of the truth, when it's only a perspective truth. He talked about how we need to change the way we talk to ourselves about our lives and how we write the script to our life story and how we can easily CHANGE OUR STORY. -------- This is so completely true. Just as we make decisions we aren't proud of and let ourselves get to places we don't want to be....we can easily make the decision to change that.

The next step is something we hear all the time, but hardly every listen to.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION.  --He discussed how the majority of people say I'll be happy when I get to this place, or when I get married, or when I have kids, etc.... and how we need to learn to enjoy the process. Learn to enjoy each and every day and to celebrate all the little things along the way.--------- This is a huge thing for me. I constantly find myself scrolling through Instagram and wishing that I looked like this person or that person, when I should be enjoying the person I am today vs the person I was 2 1/2 months ago.

Another thing he mentioned was to PUT YOURSELF ON YOUR CALENDAR. Learn to enjoy yourself. Learn to see yourself as a valuable person because if you don't, no one else will.--------Amen to that! I have recently noticed that I am more content to be alone these days than I have ever been. I used to want to be with Mark and the kids constantly. I didn't want to be alone because when I was alone, I beat myself up. I didn't enjoy the person that I was because I felt like I didn't deserve the things that I have. I am learning now that I do deserve them. I am learning that I enjoy time to myself every now and then and I shouldn't feel bad about that. I need to date myself just as much as I need to date my husband.

He also talked about MAKING RELATIONSHIPS COUNT. Taking time to enjoy your relationship with yourself, your spouse, your kids, your family, and your friends.----The biggest thing there was he mentioned how you are a product of the relationships you surround yourself with and since it was immediately after our Skype session, I thought about all of my Team Slim girls. Had I not found them, I may not be where I am today. I may not be as positive about this weight loss journey. Knowing that I have them to hold me accountable and to be there when I need encouragement and advice, makes this a little easier. Sure, Mark is super supportive and does nothing but encourage me...but having people around you that are going through the same things you do on a day to day basis, is so helpful.

If you want to watch the entire segment, I'm adding it below.

ICYMI: My friend Bishop T.D. Jakes shared five tips that will allow anyone to find happiness!
Posted by Steve Harvey TV on Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Roasted Ranch Potatoes

If there is one WW friendly recipe that will never leave my recipe rotation, it is without a doubt these Roasted Ranch Potatoes from LaaLoosh. It was the very first recipe I tried and much to my surprise, my entire family loves them. Even my SUPER picky husband. In fact, I have NEVER had leftovers because he always eats them all.

I've posted them a few times on my Instagram page and had a few people ask for the recipe, so I thought I would share.

Roasted Ranch Potatoes

5-7 Medium Sized Red Potatoes 

Your Choice of Oil (I used Coconut Oil last night and LOVED how they tasted)

1-2 Ranch Packets

Seasoned Salt

Pepper

Garlic Powder

Wash and dice your potatoes then add them to a fairly large sized bowl. Coat in oil (olive oil or coconut oil preferably) and then add in 1-2 ranch packets depending on amount of potatoes used. (I eyeball it) Spread covered potatoes out on cookie sheet and sprinkle with garlic powder, seasoned salt, and pepper. Bake at 400 for 15-25 minutes to desired texture. 

I will also add that I followed the recipe the first few times, but from there have kind of played around with it, adding in new spices/seasonings.

Hope you enjoy!!

 

A Real Eye Opener

The thing I love about Weight Watchers is the flexibility it gives you. There's no restrictions, no off-limit foods, and no worries over having to turndown something because you "can't have it".

Unfortunately, that is something that I have learned over the past week can be a burden if you don't watch yourself. While being able to "eat anything you want" is great, it doesn't mean you should all the time. Should you indulge when you feel the need? Sure. Should you go out with family/friends and have a good time when invited? Sure. But should you eat a doughnut for breakfast, a tub of ice cream for dinner, or drink an entire bottle of wine "because you can"? Of course not.

Simply Filling may not be for me, but it is definitely something I think everyone should do at least once. Not only have I lost weight, I have also gained so much perspective on how much "processed foods" we can consume on a daily basis. Will I ever give up my Special K Protein Bars, my Boom Chicka Pop, or my Skinny Cow candy bars? Who knows. But I know I will work a lot harder to focus on Power Foods vs foods that fit my daily points. A healthy balance between the two programs, while still technically counting points.

 

Challenge Yourself.

Since starting WW in February, I have learned that challenging yourself to do things you aren't comfortable with, often has great pay off.

Unfortunately, I'm not good with getting out of my comfort zone. I'm getting there, but very slowly.

One thing I love about Weight Watchers is the freedom to still eat ANYTHING you want. I love not having limits. It makes me feel less stressed and I'm less inclined to scarf down something I know I shouldn't be eating just because it's forbidden. With that being said, I've decided to challenge myself and start Simply Filling on Wednesday. A few of my wonderful #wwsendtheloveteamslim ladies are big fans of SF and have convinced me to give it a try. The biggest thing for me is that I can eat any of the foods on the SF approved list, without limits. The idea is to eat when you are hungry, but to only eat until you are satisfied.

I'm a little nervous about it, because it does have more limits that the Points Plus system, but being able to snack on good nutritious foods without having to count points is going to be great. Plus, I'm up for the challenge. I want to test my limits and see what I'm capable of.

Baby steps, Trista. Baby Steps.

 

Leaving the past in the past.

One thing I let get in the way of me staying active, was an injury I have been dealing with since I was a junior in High School.

One week after Mark and I were engaged, yes, I was in High School.....we were hit head on by a car less than a mile from his dad's house. She was in a coma for two weeks, Mark was completely out of it until they cut me out of the car, and I was just there, completely terrified. After two surgeries and countless months in wheelchairs and casts....I am now left with a 3in screw in my left food.

 The car we were in on top, her car on the bottom. We are all VERY lucky to be alive.

And I have let that piece of hardware control me. Does it hurt? Yes. Does my foot swell daily? Yes. Is it enough to have let me go 10+ years thinking I am incapable of being more active? No. While it may hurt and it may limit me, it isn't something I can't overcome. I have learned these past 2 months that I am stronger than I think. I am able to push through the pain and accomplish MOST of what I want. I may never run a marathon and that's fine, because if you catch me running, I can promise you it's not willingly.

Discovering that I am greater than the things I have let define me for so many years, has been such a relief. I hope I can continue to grow with each step I take.

 

Random Inspiration

While perusing Instagram earlier this morning, I came upon something that struck a cord with me.

I had never really thought of it that way, but it is so very true. Even with the smallest things like choosing to be happy vs. being upset. If you eat junk food all of the time, you will feel like junk. If you eat well and workout, you will feel good.


Take yesterday for example. All day at work I struggled. Partly because it was my first day back after 9 days off, but also because the weather was gloomy and I had eaten like crap most of the 9 days I was off. (I will say that my version of "eating like crap" has greatly improved from what it used to be.) On the way home, I had decided I was going to take a 30 minute nap before I started monogramming. Instead, when I got home, I decided to hop on the treadmill for 2.5 miles and to lift some weights. The entire time I showered I was grinning from ear to ear because I had defeated my bad mood. I CHOSE to workout and better myself and in turn, I felt better.

It's funny how that works. But every single decision you make affects your life. And sure, we are all going to have moments of weakness. I do on a daily basis. But lately my good choices are outweighing my bad choices and for me, that's  worth it all.

The Ugly D Word

If there is one thing I have learned, it's that my mind doesn't do well with being told it's on a diet. In fact, I'm the type of person who feeds off of being told they can't eat something, can't do something, etc. Don't ever forbid me to do something....it never ends well.

The good news is that I have learned over the past 2-3 months that to succeed, you can't diet. You can't use miracle pills, miracle wraps, food fads, or any of that other crap to lose weight. Will it work? Yes....sometimes. BUT, 90% of people gain the weight back as soon as their "diet" is over. The good thing about Weight Watchers, at least for me, is that it isn't a diet. It's a way of life. I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my lifestyle. I'm teaching myself how to eat and how to still have the foods I love, all while not gaining 50lbs in the process.

For example. My all time favorite thing right now is Buffalo Chicken Cheesy Fries from a local restaurant we used to eat at once, sometimes twice a week. I still have those fries once a week or once every two weeks. BUT.....I only eat half, I always do it right after weigh in, and I eat very light the rest of the day. This way I don't feel deprived when my people are scarfing down their delicious foods, making me turn crazy and causing me to eat everything in sight. Diets do that to me. I just can't be told I can't have something.

And even worse, don't ask me if I can have something while on my "diet". I can have anything I want. In moderation.


 

Workouts can be enjoyable?!?!

I am not a fan of working out. AT ALL. I have never liked running, I've never really enjoyed cardio, and I only hung out in the weight room during high school to have a good view of the boys/football players.

But I'm trying to change that. I'm trying so very hard to teach myself to enjoy my workouts. And I'm excited to say that tonight was a little bit of a breakthrough for me. I came home after a long day at work, I was dog tired, but I knew that I needed to get in a workout. I got my workout clothes on and hopped on the treadmill with the intentions of at least walking a mile and then doing some weights. I got to 1.5 before I stopped, and that was only to get more water. Then, after my first set of weights, I decided to get back on the treadmill. Another mile later and I was pouring with sweat....and I was LOVING it. I loved every single bead of sweat that dripped from my forehead and when I went to do my last rep of weights and my arms started shaking....I loved that even more.

I still have a long way to go, and only time will tell if I can truly transform myself into a workout lover.....but I'm closer than I ever have been before. And that's all that matters!

 

NSV's for the Win!

Let me just start this post off by saying that I, like most women, are guilty of stealing my husbands shirts. In fact, about 1/2 of my tshirts were at one point, his. I guess that has always been a perk of us wearing the same size.

A few Christmases ago, Mark got a Comfort Colors Alabama Sweatshirt from his Aunt and as soon as he pulled it out of the bag, I snatched it from him and claimed it forever mine. The very first time I decided to wear it, I put it on, only to find that apparently Comfort Colors doesn't cater to women with a big booty and big hips. It still fit, of course, but it was a little snug around the booty area. Good thing it was a little bigger everywhere else so I just scrunched it up around my hips and butt and went on my merry little way. It quickly became one of my favorites because it's just so comfortable and I will admit, Mark hasn't gotten to wear it one single day.

A few weeks ago I wore it out to eat and noticed it was starting to fit a little more loosely, but figured that was just me being optimistic. Fast forward to today and I'm pleased to say that I put it on this morning, got to work, and noticed that as soon as I start walking, it falls down past my hips. For me, this is huge. I have never liked wearing shirts that go past my midsection because they only enhance the "Mom Pooch". Sweatshirts and leggings....NEVER. Not happening. Not with my butt and thighs. However, I will be proudly sporting that look today because this sweatshirt is now officially "big". And I couldn't be happier. #nsvsforthewin

Along with that NSV, I also noticed the other day that my FitBit Flex keeps getting spun around on my wrist, so I tested it out and I can now officially move up another spot on my band.

Non Scale Victories are great....especially when they come on a Friday. A Friday where when I leave here today, I have 9 days off.

***happy dance***
 

Staying On Track During Vacation

Next week is Spring Break for my kiddos which equals NINE glorious off days for me. (insert squeal)

I'm a little worried though because while I will have more time to workout and make breakfast at home, etc....I'm also going to be out of town and at a hotel for 3 days and will be going through my first big test of counting points while on vacation.

I've already taken a few steps to help me out....like making sure the hotel we are staying at has a gym and trying to research local restaurants for possible places to eat so that I can go ahead and TRY to plan some of my meals. Oh, and I plan to eat my usual breakfast of fruit and protein bar while gone. No hotel waffles for me!

I already know that I will be walking a TON, so that will help as well.  What I would like to know is.....how do YOU deal with staying on track during vacation? I could really use some quick and helpful tips.

Daily Staples

One thing that has been crucial to me in this journey is consistency. I try not to venture away from foods I know that I like and I try to avoid things that I know are triggers for me.

Along the way, I have found some foods/items that are a constant in my day to day life. For instance, my breakfast is almost always the exact same thing, with some change up here and there. I'm sure most of us have our "go-to" items, so I thought it would be nice to share them.

• About 4-5 days a week, my breakfast consists of these Chocolate Peanut Butter Meal Bars from Special K and a banana or some other kind of fruit. (5pp)
  
   
• Right at the start of my journey, I received an Influenster box with these in there and they are SO good. Especially when you are craving something sweet. (4pp)
  
   
• I'm NOT  a fan of Aspertame, so I have a really hard time with "diet" drinks and water flavorings. However, I found this one and I'm not kidding when I say that I buy 3-5 boxes at a time. (0pp)
  
• Since I have cut out almost all soda, I HAVE to have coffee daily. And for me, it's either real sugar or no sugar. Luckily, I found this creamer a while back and I can use it and have to have no sugar. Plus, it's only 2PP for 2 tbsp. 
  

• The last "daily staple" for me is my Bubba. I mostly use my 32oz because I can fill it 3 times a day and feel good about my water intake, but sometimes I use my 24oz. But 99% of the time, if you see me, you see it. 
  

One other thing I'm trying to learn to love is PB2 vs. REAL peanut butter. I haven't bought into the Zoodles vs Pasta yet, I'm completly in love with Boom Chicka Pop, I can totally eat Turkey Hot Dogs vs. Beef Hot Dogs, and there are tons of other things I'm trying to substitute into my diet. Slowly but surely, changes are being made.

What are some things you use/eat daily or almost daily?

8 Weeks In....

When I started this blog, I planned to document more of my journey, but life just got in the way. I started at a super busy time with Valentine's Day and my birthday right on top of each other, but in the 8 weeks I've been on WW, I'm managed to lose right at 11lbs. To do that with two big holidays full of cake and candy, is awesome to me. Could it have been more? Sure....but I know that this is a journey. I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to learn what works and doesn't work for me.

I have another big test coming up next week....Spring Break and Vacation. Eating right at home is hard and eating right on the road is even tougher.

Throughout this journey I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I'm not as "weak" as I thought. I used to struggle with my addiction to soda and I've almost kicked that completely. I have had 3 since I started WW and the last one I had, I got a 1/3 of the way through it and couldn't drink it anymore. I've still got a long ways to go, but my habits are slowly but surely changing. I feel so much better now that I used to and that in itself is payoff enough for me. Losing the lbs is just a bonus.

I made one deal with myself and I have vowed to stay away from "diet" foods as much as possible. No diet drinks, no "low fat" snacks....if I don't have the points for the real thing, I'm not eating/drinking it. And for the most part, I've done pretty well.


I've not noticed a huge difference in my body just yet, but I also didn't take "BEFORE" measurements like I should have. And I do notice some differences, just nothing to write home about. One big difference I have noticed is my leg strength and booty shape. I've been doing 10 squats each time I go to the restroom at work and when you are drinking 100oz. of water a day, that adds up.

When I can learn to balance being a mom and wife, having a full time job, running a business out of my home, and finding time to meal prep and work out.....I will be really happy. But again, I'm only 8 weeks into this and it's a process. For me, this isn't a diet. This is my new way of life. 

Day One. The Beginning. The First Day of the Rest of my Life.

I've started this journey many, many times...but looking back on all of those times, I've never really been THAT serious about it. I'd eat a salad for 3 or 4 days, cut back on the sodas, then the weekend would come and it would all go to hell in a hand basket (there's a southern phrase if there ever was one...).

This time feels different. This time I realize that I'm now over 30 and not getting younger. I realize now more than ever that I have an amazing life and I'm tired of just existing. I want to participate. I want to enjoy my life. I have a husband that many women only dream about, I have two amazingly smart and healthy kids, great friends, great family, a job, a new business....I have things worth fighting for. I. AM. WORTH. FIGHTING. FOR.

Growing up I never really struggled with my weight. Did I think I was fat? Yes. But that probably has something to do with the fact that my best friend weighed all of 110lbs (on her fat day) and I was always comparing myself to her. My main issue was always the junk in my trunk, but all of the boys that constantly touched it, complimented it, and talked about it pretty much assured me that it was something I never wanted to lose. Now here I am with a big, flat butt instead of the curvy, round one I used to have.

I joined Weight Watchers back in January but never TRULY committed to giving it all I have. Then I was scrolling through a bunch of #weightwatcher photos on Instagram, found a few inspiring ladies, and here I am.

Today is the first day of my journey. It's going to be hard. I'm going to stumble. I'm going to mess up. But I'm not giving up. I can't give up. Today is the day where I start putting ME first.