I did so good throughout the day, but by dinner time I was hungry, I felt restricted, and I was hardcore craving something sweet. I was sitting in bed, I had had dinner, Mark was eating ice cream (thanks for the support babe, haha) and I was craving sugar like nobody's business (thanks Aunt Flo). All I could think about was the Reese Cup Eggs Reagan has in her bedroom, all of the Skinny Cow candy bars I have in my cabinet, and I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit so badly. But you know why I didn't?
Because of a great group of ladies I found a few weeks ago. I thought about how it would suck telling them that I had given up after less than 24 hours. I thought about how they would probably be disappointed that I didn't give it more time. I thought about how a few of them had taken the time out of their day yesterday (and now today) to see how it was going and to be there for me. I felt like I owed them and MYSELF more time. (PS-THANKS LADIES, It means a lot and has helped more than you know!)
Will it be something I stick with for a long time? Probably not. Is it something I'm willing to give a little more time? Absolutely.
I think the problem for me is what I've talked to the girls about before. I don't do well with restrictions. I do not like being told I can't have or do something. (Just ask my husband!) Couple that with the fact that I hardly ever eat my weekly points because I start to get a little panicky when the number starts dwindling, and you have a recipe for disaster. In my head, I'm going to gain if I use those weeklies. So now that I have those 49 points to use throughout the week on foods that aren't SF....the thought of using them and seeing that number decrease makes me full of anxiety. What if I need them over the weekend? What if I need them before my time is up? (Have I mentioned that I'm medicated for anxiety? No? Well...that's another story for another time.)
I'm trying to take this one meal at a time and ease myself into it. I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay to have that 3pt. Skinny Cow Cookies and Cream candy bar. Those points are there for a reason. I just have to learn to be okay with using them.
Baby Steps, Trista. Baby Steps. (I'm thinking that's my new mantra)
